When did you discover that the God of Bible - and the loving God that you had worshiped your entire life - were not the same? How did it affect you?
How did it affect me.
It made me stop and reflect and try to reconcile things.
It forced me to ponder God or no God.
And that has been a big question for a long time in my life.
One answer is the old testament Jehovah is the New Testament Jesus.
They are one and the same.
We all owe God one death and we all have a resurection and a judgment.
There are reasons God did what he did.
One can google them.
Ultimately we choose God or no God.
And I am not even sure that choice affects things or not.